https://intimacywithnic.com/ramblings daily 0.75 2026-08-22 https://intimacywithnic.com/ramblings/sensory-budget-a-neuro-affirming-approach-to-intimacy-and-overwhelm monthly 0.5 2026-08-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67c904f5972f980d79d933a4/d9ed4a9b-b68e-49c6-a83f-dc82d37b1003/sensory+budget+neurodivergence Ramblings On Sex - Sensory Budget: a neuro-affirming approach to intimacy and sensory overwhelm - Tell me why you sometimes you want to be so close to your partner that you try to crawl inside their skin, and then other days the mere sound of them chewing sends you spiralling into a pit of rage and despair? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67c904f5972f980d79d933a4/ef0da476-5126-4784-a153-fd0f2bb6170e/sensory+sensitivities+adhd Ramblings On Sex - Sensory Budget: a neuro-affirming approach to intimacy and sensory overwhelm - Things that might deplete your sensory budget: Loud, busy places Bright, fluorescent lights A messy, cluttered house Barking dogs Kids climbing all over you all day A tag on your clothing https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67c904f5972f980d79d933a4/a2399e60-0d8b-43d6-9816-b4d8a5b0dfe1/Frands-10.jpg Ramblings On Sex - Sensory Budget: a neuro-affirming approach to intimacy and sensory overwhelm - Things that might replenish your sensory budget: Quiet, alone time Lifting heavy weights A walk in nature Being in water - a bath or swim Weighted blanket with noise-cancelling headphones Dancing, laughing, playing https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67c904f5972f980d79d933a4/ec624923-11d6-4fce-bbdb-22e61e429b27/window+of+tolerance.png Ramblings On Sex - Sensory Budget: a neuro-affirming approach to intimacy and sensory overwhelm - Autonomic nervous system and the Window of Tolerance Our autonomic nervous system is constantly asking, “Am I safe?” To connect with others and feel desire, we need to be in a state of regulation. But what does that even mean? Essentially, we have three states of the autonomic nervous system that we move through constantly, depending on how much safety or danger our body perceives we are in. Emphasis on "perceives," as we may not actually be in danger, but our body has detected something it considers a threat and has moved into a trauma response. Hyperarousal is what you may have heard referred to as "fight or flight", and Hypoarousal is a shutdown or collapse. The Window of Tolerance is the sweet spot in the middle where you can comfortably regulate your emotions and are open to connection. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67c904f5972f980d79d933a4/82f4dcca-16f7-47fc-9c7e-5319abf0fb9a/feeling+safety+in+my+body Ramblings On Sex - Sensory Budget: a neuro-affirming approach to intimacy and sensory overwhelm - Exercise Write a list with two columns answering the below. What helps you move towards feeling more open to connection? (arrow pointing up) e.g. movement, pressure, music, silence, alone time, talking, eye contact It’s not always about calming down. Often when you’re at shutdown, you need gentle movement, sound and connection to bring you back, rather than slow breathing. What makes you move towards overwhelm and disconnection? (arrow pointing down) e.g. messy room, loud noises, too much touch too fast, talking, eye contact Notice how talking and eye contact could move you both towards and away from connection? Every nervous system is different, and the same person may react to a certain stimulus differently on different days, depending on the surrounding context. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67c904f5972f980d79d933a4/84f2e9c2-5cfd-49f8-ac9a-34a6906347d6/NicolaBodleSexology-2.jpg Ramblings On Sex - Sensory Budget: a neuro-affirming approach to intimacy and sensory overwhelm - Hey, I’m Nic I’m a somatic sexologist and relationship coach, passionate about providing neuro-affirming support to individuals and people in relationships. I hope this information has helped you to understand yourself and your needs a little better. I’d love to hear from you, so please leave some feedback via the form below. 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